I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
