Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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