You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
