the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
