We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
