i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
