I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
