I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
