I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
