blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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