If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
