All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize