Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
