Sry I called you an 8
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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