I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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