This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
