Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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