we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
