Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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