you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
