North Korea, Best Korea!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I had to cum in my sink.
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