Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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