so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
