Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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