I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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