4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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