yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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