I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just had sex on a roof
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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