Kiss
Puke
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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