I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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