Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
