I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
my poor anus
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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