I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
