Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we made out on top of his cat.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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