Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
