What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
