Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
