You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
