She said her name was "party"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
