i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
