Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i love accidental penises.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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