My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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