We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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