it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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