My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
