His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
