did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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