everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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