Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I need water and some morals
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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