...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
