so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
