make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
