You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Acid is not a monday night drug
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i need some magic done to my vagina
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
