What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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