Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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