Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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