ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
