sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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