and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
