But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
