I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I believe in your delicious
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
