I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
