they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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