I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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