So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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