Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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