First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Shame - the story of my life.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
