Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
