what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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