Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
